Full of Days

I turned 49 this year. I’m now older than my mentor Pastor Wayne was when I first met him, and my daughter Jeni is as old as I was when I first married Jann. I had curly hair on my head then, and none in my ears, and a body that was thin as a rail, and energy that could play basketball AFTER a 5 mile run! I could clearly hear, button a button in one try, and read fine print in classifieds (the once or twice a year I actually needed to read those). I rarely napped on the couch, but a few times I wrestled, single-handedly, a couch down a flight of stairs.

What happened here?


I have gotten old. I’m not exactly sure how. Something in my midsection bulged, something in my legs slowed down. Now I run much slower, if you call it (jogging) running, and I am really sore, looking ike Quasimodo when I walk upstairs a day or two after a jog. I’ve reached that stage of life where I can no longer trust my body to do what I ask it or go where I send it.

What is "really" happening here?

I’ve been reading a blog of a Pastor/Author I have liked lately - Mark Buchanan. He recently talked of that biblical phrase, “full of days.” Here is more of what he said:

"Many of the patriarchs died full of days. Roughly, it means they were old. But it resonates beyond that. Jesus died at 33. Yet he was full of days. Stephen, the first martyr, was likely in his 20s when Paul and company stoned him to death. Yet he was full of days..... I’ve buried many old saints, but I’ve also buried 90-year-olds who I wouldn’t describe as full of days. They went to their graves bitter, nostalgic, self-absorbed, clinging to baubles and trifles. And I’ve buried young people who died tragically, because of choices that betrayed them, but I’ve also buried teenagers who died full of days. They left this world with courage and thanksgiving, radiant with hope. Being full of days is not about the duration of your life: it’s about its depth. It’s not about longevity: it’s about abundance. Its touchstone is not greyness: it’s grace."

How does this happen?

As I get older, I want full days. I am more and more committed to living the fullness of life that Jesus promised (John 10:10). I want to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. I want to hunger and thirst for righteousness and say “I love you” more times in a day than anything else. I want to stay in touch with my forever friends, forgive my enemies, and reconcile with those I have wronged along the way. I want to love God with all of who I am.

Whether I die sooner or later, I want to leave this world - "full of days". Even if, between than and now, I go slower all the way.